Would We Say That to Dads?

Full post appears here on RoleReboot.org.

Working Dads Risk Damaging Their Child’s Prospects

Working Dads Are Healthier, Study Finds

Working Dads: Don’t Feel Guilty

The 10 Commandments For Working Fatherhood

5 Comments To Avoid Saying To A Working Dad

The Myth Of The Rich, Selfish Working Dad

Have you seen these headlines? No? That’s because they don’t exist. Links to the real headlines appear at the end of this piece. They, and the millions like them, are actually about working moms. Working moms are without a doubt the most picked apart, analyzed, written about, advised, talked down to, talked up to, monitored, and micro-managed group in society. And when working moms speak about being working moms, we listen, and then we attack.

This article is not meant to weigh in on any of these debates. Rather, this article asks the critical question: Would we say that to dads?

If the topic du jour sounds absurd when the word “Dad” is substituted for “Mom,” we need to take a step back and ask ourselves if our energy is being well utilized. Instead of answering and re-answering the age-old questions about working moms—Are they harming their kids? Are they helping them? Are they too selfish, too rich, and spoiled, too frazzled, pulled in too many directions?—let’s ask a different question. A critical question.

Why aren’t we talking about dads?

Click here to read the rest!!

Then check out these additional ridiculous headlines, gathered and re-gendered by reader Mark.  Thanks Mark!

Runner Dads: A running dad’s guide to jogging with the stroller

The New Unmarried Dads
More Dads Say Full-Time Work Is Ideal
Working dads, don’t try to be perfect at home
Tired Dads Are More Dangerous Behind the Wheel Than Drunk Dads
More Work and No Play Puts Today’s Dads in a Tough Bind


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2 thoughts on “Would We Say That to Dads?

  1. Lyla, I posted this from RoleReboot onto my FB page. I also posted the “what I want to say/what I really say” cartoons. The absurd responses I’ve gotten are mind-boggling. People seem to think that being honest about the difficulties of parenthood means I don’t love my boys. Or that because I love my job, choose to go every day, and have even chosen to pursue my education, makes me a bad, unloving mother.

    They are wrong. I love my job. I’m damn good at it. I am passionate about my education and I work hard at it. I also love my kids and I believe that, most of the time, I’m a great mom. Choosing to be away from them 50+ hours per week allows me space to pursue my own passions. Without that space, I would absolutely fail at motherhood. I know because I’ve tried it.

    I’m sad that people find it so difficult to be honest about the frustrations of parenthood. They are real, for all parents.

    • Uh, Meghan I’m sorry to hear you are getting these absurd reactions. Some of them may be from people who have similar feeling to you but a much harder time admitting it. Easier to project all that “selfishness” onto someone else than to recognize it in ourselves sometimes. Of course, when I say “selfishness” I’m really just referring to normal human feelings we all have. I work about 30 hours a week, and being home part-time with my kids is really, really hard. I often think I’d be happier working more. I have lots of guilt about feeling that way, but I know if I worked less it would only be bad for everyone. I wonder if I’d actually be better with my kids if I worked more?

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